Tok 3 Tok 4

Monday, June 05, 2006

We is Going Germany !

Since the world is going crazy about the upcoming football world cup, Lin Peh also joining the crazy peeple by forming a team for the competition. Here is the Maraysia team:


Official Mascot:
Chan LiuLian

The Management

Team Manager:
Y.Bhg Tan Sri Rojaks
(He is the manager because his name got Tan Sri and He dunno shit about footbal!)

Assistant Manager:
Maverick
(He Cakap Tak Serupa Bikin)

Coach:
Simple Amedika
(Foreign coach is a must for Maraysia team)

Assistant Coach:
Shaolin Tiger
(Shaolin Soccer mia Cousin)


The Tehnical Crew

Loctor:
Loctor Kiki

Nurses:
Lucia Lai
(For Team Kapitan Only)
Titoki
(For the rest of the team)

Massage Gal Physical Therapist:
Helen

Medical Officers (Those carry strecher wan):
Dr. Liew
Mr. Frust
Jason

Bomoh:
Little Pakcik
MahaiGuru

Ball Boy:
Sammi Value the No 1 Ball Carrier in Maraysia
(This one cannot give link or else kena wallop)

Cooks:
LB (Western Food)
Laksa (Maraysian Food)
LP (Hailam Chicken Rice, too primitive to have a website)

Dietitian:
Samm the Orgasm

Public Relation (GRO):
Poison
(Her specialty in Press/Release wan)

Drivers:
Wu Ching
Paul Tan


The Sponsors

Official Merchandise:
Loc Kee Trading

Official Snack:
Goreng Pisang

Official Airline Fei Kei:
Kampungkai

Official Fei Kei Engineer
Hooiching

Official TV Station:
TV Smith

Official Lalio Station:
KiPod Lalio

Commentators:
Engrish: Patrik Teoh
Cantonese: Ah Kiu and Ah Tiu
Hokkien: John Ong
Hakka: Ah Pek

Official Muzik:
Simmie Lang

Official Religion:
Sun,Moon&Star
(Sounds like the Korea Cult where many peeples married each other)


The Players


**Official Team Photo Courtesy of Chibye Seng**

Gorlie:
Cocka (An expert in Char Por Por)

Defenders:
Jomel (Kung Fu kick expert, specialized in kicking Jimmy)
Zara's Mama (Specialy coached by Zara in tricycle kick)
Ah May (Bicycle kick expert always trained at Bukit Cahaya)
King's wife(Expert in speading legs yoga kick)

Midfielders:
Seng Kor @ David Back-cum (Kapitan)
Boredfucker (Special trained in Cambodia)
Lin Peh (Impoted directly from Japan, learned all the tricks from Japan Yamade VCD)

Strikers:
9393 (Magnum mia tai-kor, always strike first prize)
Rojak (He is THE CENTER FORWARD of the team)
JKN (His long hair look like Ronaldino)

Reserved Player:
Humsap Aceone (Another Char Por Por fella)
Kang Xian (Specialised Karate wan)
Inevitable (Specialised in Doggie position wan)
Kenny Fei Chai (Fei Chai can block 2 Ronaldos)

The Cheer Leaders

Raksha
Jasiminne*Anorexic
Kay Po
Cheesie
FireAngel
Sweet Candy
Angel
Allison
PinPin
PeeJay
Jess
Kimberly
Suanie
Yee Pei


62 Condeminations:

Anonymous Anonymous condemn:

wah, i tot u die liao!

Blogger Wingz condemn:

mahaii this one big production sial!!! u link 9 the whole bloody blogsphere liow!!! fehmes lar u this time!!! wuahahahaha!!!

Anonymous may condemn:

OMG!!! you really sek pau mou yeh chou! then again... that's all the time... hahahahaha!

Blogger frostier condemn:

.. not yet leh.
he haven't link liewcf yet.
hahaahahh

Blogger Nine3 Nine 3 condemn:

If my kkc cramp can get Physical Therapist for Massage mai ?

Blogger titoki condemn:

Lin Peh!!!!

You pay me peanuts and you expect me to SERVE the whole TEAM??????!!!!!!

Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!

Lei mou yan sing ar!!! ;p

*POKE at your eyes!!!*

Blogger CrazyGrr| condemn:

Err.. can give a clear picture on how the mascot looks like ar? LOL!!

Blogger 5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ condemn:

Niamah, being mascot is a compliment or what? If otherwise, you going to die soon. I take the sweaty mascot suit that has not been washed for the whole month and stuff your face and suffocate you to death. And you will get the team manager, Tan Sri Rojakz to give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Anonymous LP condemn:

Besides Hailam Chicken Rice, I also can cook maggi mee u know...:)
Check your e-mail on Tuesday , you will receive the FIFA official food :)

Blogger King's wife condemn:

don't say we didnt warn you about lilian... Lol !!!

Blogger sengkor condemn:

how come no official drink? takkan got snacks and no drinks one ma..

Blogger Wuching condemn:

oi! i only drive car saja! i can play wan, let me have a goal lah!

Blogger AceOne condemn:

Yahoooo, I'm selected. Germany here we cum. Reserved pun jadi la.

Ole Ole Oleeee..

Blogger Simple American condemn:

Wow! What have you given me to coach here Lin Peh.

First thing no strikers. This team will not be part of any union. Any players wanna strike I fire that player like Reagen fired air traffic controllers.

As Coach I need to give a vigorous physical first. Make sure all players are in good health for my vigourous trainging routine. This will ensure we cum together as a team. To speed the process I will give physical to female players. My assistant coach will take care of the males.

After I recover from the physical, we should move the team to Germany. Get acclimated. So we must drink a lot of beer. OK? In Germany do as the Germans.

More instruction to cum later. Not cum for physical.

Blogger me condemn:

wahhhh! everybody you know in the blogosphere oso you taruk here ah? you put me as cheerleader, you forgot my first profile pic ah? nanti thunder thighs and nen nen swinging here and there, like in scary movie 4, all your spectators pun lari.

Blogger Ah Pek condemn:

I DUN CARE! I WAN TO JAR BOR BOR OSO!!

Blogger AceOne condemn:

AhPek, you be commentator enough la!!
Cha Bor Bor oni cocka and me can do it.It needs an expert to do it wan.LOL

Blogger Samm condemn:

Wah, me dietition ah. Sure u ppl gonna my organic vegetarian fare onot? But, the figure i can gerenti can turn out damn cun lah, stamina oso increase; run faster. For u ah, linpeh, all paiomeis like.....

Blogger sun,moon&star condemn:

Ha ha ha, how refreshing!
We always think we are symbols of love
We never thought that we are akin to religion!
Since you mention it....let us pray..
"MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN!"

Blogger Wingz condemn:

oi i just realised i got 2 position lar ... 1 is team manager and 1 is striker .... how to manage the team while i m striking ar ? lol

Blogger Zara's Mama condemn:

If M'sia got such awards.. sure will go to you..

The winner of Eat Full Nothing to Do award goes to..

Yamade Lin Peh!

Blogger sotongking condemn:

oi i wanna be guess player...the one tat run the whole field naked while officers chasing.

Blogger plink condemn:

* A P P R A U S E ! *

*waving MaRayShia Boleh sign*

Blogger Cocka Doodle condemn:

I want to share room with physical therapist while on tour.
Need to keep those delicate fingers warm in preparation for the game...and also keep practising the char bor skills on her.

Demonsquid....I think you'll make a good team streaker!

Anonymous l condemn:

alamak! me nurse to only one person? liddat where got fun one. me wanna be nurse to all... liddat got so many to choose. :)

Blogger Cocka Doodle condemn:

5xmom....wearing the Penyu mascot suit is indeed an honour!
Not many people are cut out to wear that. Linpeh and his panel has specifically chosen you after auditing countless candidates.

Anonymous lucia condemn:

alamak! me nurse to only one person? liddat where got fun one. me wanna be nurse to all... liddat got so many to choose. :)

10:07 PM

- that was from me lah. dunno what happened just now. ooh i must add:

... liddat got so many to choose to play doctor with. :)

Blogger L B condemn:

Spaghetti everyday, with flower salad, but becareful of Delhi Belly, ok? Kena Yellow card already, yesterday...

Blogger angel condemn:

*in the hiao-hiao-est voice*

LinPeh... *blink blink a bit* ... tenkius for the opportunity to be one of the cheering leaders... i will do my best, shake my bonbon sexily so that the opposing team players get distracted and kenot concentrate, okays? ;)

waaa, yr word verification got cb summore...

Blogger Helen condemn:

HAHAHAHHAHA

Hey, I'm the physical Therapist ar? Waa, veli veli busy having to get physical with the team! lol

You're the player imported from Japan ar? Hmmm, must see u in action in the open field. A big leap for u from the usual action in the backlane room hor? :-P

Blogger Helen condemn:

Where's the Papsi, Adidos, Naike & Ass-tro contract??

Cocka must be the new KFC spokesperson liao! lol

Blogger candygan condemn:

Yeahh... me pun ada take part ar ..
proud of it lor !! ;p

Blogger sotongking condemn:

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Blogger sotongking condemn:

This year no wear penyu maskot liao. Havta wear Nemo...i wonder how 5xmom gonna move around with those fins. Lolx.

Blogger Nine3 Nine 3 condemn:

Lucia you very lucky to just take care of Team Kapitan "BackCum", if you take care of me, Lin Peh, TanSri or Cocka tomorow No come

But Team Kapitan diffrent

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

Anonymous:
KNNBCCP! Long time no post and first condemn Lin Peh got was whether I die or not pulak ! LOL! Anyway, no die no die! Tanks !

Wingz:
I link 9 everyone so This post become really a HamkaLinks ! HAHAHAHHA!

may:
really within your expectation ! Lin Peh like !

frostier:
Soli la! My next hamkalink projeck sure garanti link you as number 1. What position u want ? Faster tell! Make booking first ! ;-)

Nine3 Nine 3:
kkc cramp u must go thru the inspection by cocka (the cock expert) before attended by the Physical Therapist.

titoki:
You tink u monkey meh (cause u said I pay u peanuts)!

CrazyGrr|:
How mascot looks like ar? Errrrrrrrrrrrrr ;-)

5xmom:
Niasing ! You damn 9 fierce la ! Let u become Mascot is certainly a good decision !

In the event we are facing a good team, you can also use your sweaty underwear and cover 9 the opponents !

LP:
OK ! checked the email already and got the FOOD ! LOL!

King's wife:
Your got give warning before Lin Peh decide who is the mascot meh ? ;-)

seng kor:
Yeah lor hor ! got snacks and no drinks can kena choke wan ! OK...will look for the official minuman and update it soon !

Wuching:
You not onli drive car, u get to drive the minibus also ! You can play ah ? OK OK ! In case got any last minute injury, Lin Peh will slot you in ! STANDBY PLEASE !

aceone118:
Siok leh ? ;-)

Simple American:
Beer drinking in Germany is for sure wan ! Tak Akan we all go Germany and ask for Teh Tarik. Right ? By the way, this football we toking about is played with legs wan. Not the Amedika footbal. ok ? ;-)

me:
If your nen nen can swinging here and there, please demo ! Lin Peh sure many peeples interested !

Ah Pek:
You want Jar Por Por also ah? Since you post said you no interest in footbal wan...is it ok Lin Peh kasi one new position as physical therapist specifically to take care of the female players ? LOL!

Samm:
Just make sure your organic food make us all Orgasm !

sun,moon&star:
"MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN!"? KENOT LA !
change it to "MAY OUR TEAM WIN"!

Wingz:
You got 2 positions cause you are Tan Sli ! Whatever Tan Sli say, we all must follow ! If u wan play alone against 11 Brazilian oso we sokong wan !

Zara's Mama:
Tank Q for looking me so up !

DemonicSquid:
the one tat run the whole field naked while officers chasing mia position no need apply wan ! JUST DO IT (Nike says wan) ;-)

plink:
Tank Q for the spirit of: *MaRayShia Boleh*

Cocka Doodle:
If you share room with physical therapist, Lin Peh not sure who rape who la ! You sure kenot play anymore ! So the answer is KENOT !

Cocka Doodle:
Fuck you la Uncle ! Lin Peh never say the mascot is a Penyu!

lucia:
Soli la...u have to understand that Kapitan is a very important position (he not only can front-cum, he also can back-cum)and thus a private nurse has to be assigned to him at all time ! You can play doctor-doctor with him and Lin Peh sure dat will really improve his performance (on and off field) as well ;-)

L B:
Niasing ! I see you post everytime different dish wan but how cum you give us Spaghetti everyday? Not even Pizza ? How cum leh ? LOL!

angel:
Veli like your idea ! Can you please demo your sexy bonbon shake for the rest of the team first? LOL!

Helen:
Let's get physical ! Still trying to negotiate sponsorship with Papsi, Adidos, Naike & Ass-tro la ! You can help ?

candygan:
You so sweet so must include you la ;-)

sotongking:
Lucky you no ask lilian wear your lanjiao sotong suit ! or else sure Malay Mail front page wan ! LOL!

Nine3 Nine 3:
You comment is veli much appreciated by the entire team especialy itu Kapitan ! ;-)

Anonymous Anonymous condemn:

Lucky lucky no die...keep on living and posting! *smuack!*

-anon 5:57Ppm

Blogger MahaguruSia condemn:

jampi jampi jampi ... may all the players have long balls!


Good luck everyone, may the fortune be with you all this world jug

Blogger Cocka Doodle condemn:

Linpeh.....KNN! Maraysia mascot always use the farking penyu wan la. If not, then surely the orang utan wan.

Blogger JoMel condemn:

Aiks! What happened to my comment?

I said, " OMG! I just read this! OMG! This is so funny, now I am not sleepy liao! ROTL!!! "

Have to retype komen, no shiok hor.

Blogger JoMel condemn:

Lin Peh, you did the photoshopping ah? Wahh.. you so crever leh! *swoons*

Anonymous Anonymous condemn:

GO GO GO ... OLE OLE OLE...
Linpeh your this post and the
comments here are so hilarious..

you are soooo creative !!!

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

MahaguruSia:
Good Jobs ! It shows Lin Peh no choose the wrong person for the Bomoh position ! ;-)

Cocka Doodle:
Screw you la cocka ! Only Trengkanu use the farking penyu la. The orang utan already used by the Sukom 98 cause it resemble the person who created it ! LOL!

Let Lilian decide on the mascot herself ok ? ;-)

JoMel:
Alamak ! Lin Peh no do the photoshopping la. It was done by your beloved Chibye Seng !

Anonymous:
GO GO GO ... ANON, ANON, ANON !

Blogger Inevitable condemn:

Woo hoo!! Reserves also no problem as long as I made it to the team!!!

Blogger Loc Kee condemn:

Me the sponsor ya? you mean those Sohai pay money liao canot CharPo and no Physical Therapy punya ka???

Blogger Simple American condemn:

Tats okay.

I unnderstan we really play soccer. But I call it football so the rest of the world is not confused.

My son has the video game so I understand everything now about soccer, er football. Don't worry about him kicking my ass 100-2. Kid vs adult in video game. No chance ya know.

Promise we will win. But I gotto continue these physicals. May have to do some on plane to Germany. Mile High Club, er check up ya know. For endurance of coz. This team is realing cuming together with me as coach.

Blogger Maverick SM condemn:

I asst mgr ah? Can I be chef-de-mission?

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

Inevitable:
Your attitude is damn 9 good ! Lin Peh like ! ;-)

Loc Kee:
Sohai pay money liao get to watch us play ball and you just supply those cheapskate sovenior program with the image of our MASCOT lor ;-)

Simple American:
So, you are not such a simple amedikan after all ;-)

Maverick SM:
Chef-de-mission? Get yourself a Latoship first la :-)

Anonymous John Ong condemn:

So honored to be the Hokkien commentator.
In fact, we will be having a special football show on PenangHokkien.com on June 12, 2006 all about betting on football and love-making.

Anonymous Neo condemn:

Wah, good. I want to join too, can or not?!

Me can fly oh... higher than Superman. Faster than Spiderman. More hansem than Xmen :)

Blogger Simple American condemn:

Simple not boring. keke

Blogger wombie condemn:

1, 2, 3. Everyone sing oleh oleh oleh oleh!!!

Drums provided. Guys bring your own drumsticks! LOL!

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

John Ong:
Hokkien footbal show ah ? Ho Liao !

Neo:
Can Can Can ! Lin Peh give u one special position just to "take care" of the team nurses....Good Leh ?

Simple American:
Good to know dat ! ;-)

simmie:
Wah Sai ! The stick will pain pain after beating the drum la ! You damn 9 demanding la !

Blogger Lil Patchee condemn:

Omm... *ching ching chang chang* Maraysia must win.. *sprinkles some holy water* Omm...

Hey, who stole the roasted chicken???!

Anonymous Laksa condemn:

hahaha...i hope the team don't lausai after eating my laksa everyday...muahaha

Anonymous John Ong condemn:

Here's the link to the Penang Hokkien episode:

Penang Hokkien #44 Puak Kiu

Anonymous Anonymous condemn:

talk like sohai macam..knb

Blogger Chen condemn:

haha, this is a good one :D

Blogger pisang goreng 115,NF condemn:

aiseh masuk 2nd week baru i know i had to sponsor the team ar? next time send registerd letter to me leh my place got alot some house number wan...
where i had to find a huge of stock this time......

Anonymous nonself condemn:

wahaha!!

oi linpeh, i specialise taekwondo la, not karate :P

KNN wrong liao!!

Blogger Poison condemn:

Wakakakakakaka....

Anonymous Hijackqueen condemn:

Wah, really tabik you la. Come out with all this link.

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