Tok 3 Tok 4

Thursday, August 30, 2007

1957 vs 2007

Academy Award for Best Picture
1957: Around the World in 80 Days
2007: Go Around KL in 80 Hours (Trafic Jam la)

Academy Award for Best Actor
1957: Alec Guinness (The Bridge on the River Kwai)
2007: Samy Vellu (The Bridge on the Sungai Siput)

Top Hit Single
1957: Great Balls of Fire
2007: Some Balls still on Fire

Broadway Musical Debut
1957: West Side Story
2007: Back Side Story

Most Popular Book
1957: From Russia with Love
2007: From Mongolia with Love

Most Popular Television Show in USA
1957: Gunsmoke
2007: Gun Still Got Smoke

New Technological Invention
1957: Ultrasound Scanning
2007: Ultraman Scanning

Best of All
1957: Malaysia Celebrate Merdeka
2007: Malaysia Still Celebrating Merdeka

Anyway, Happy 50th Birthday!


Friday, August 24, 2007

Engrish Doctor vs Chinese Loctor

An American tourist went to China. While in China, he always go happy happy with Piaomei.


One week after he gone back to America, he found that his left testicle covered with green colour spots.

He got damn horrify! So, he immediately go see a Doctor.


The doctor was very surprise because he also never seen anything like this before. After some tests, he told the man that he has contracted a very rare disease called "Shangdong VD".

The doctor told the man "I'm sorry, there's no known cure for this rare disease. We have to cut off your left testicle". 2 hours later...his left testicle gone!

Three days later, the man found that his right testicle also covered with green colour spots!

He got more horrifier! So, he immediately goes to see the Doctor again. After some tests, he told the man: "I am sorry to tell you that the Shangdong VD has spread to your right testicle, there's no other way but to cut off your right testicle". 2 hours later...his right testicle also gone!

3 days later, the man found that his testicleless-penis also covered with green colour spots!

The man got really upset! So, he decided to go back to China to seek the treatment from the Chinese Loctor, figuring that Chinese Loctor probably know best about the Shangdong VD.


The Chinese Loctor examines his penis and said: "Oh, veli small ploblem, you no need worry, just change different brand underwear. The green color spot colour is from your underwear!"

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

No Dancing in Kelantan


A Kelantan couple, Ali and Siti, met up with the Menteri Besar, Nik, for counseling before their wedding.

Ali asks, "We realize it's a law in Kelantan that men can only dance with men, and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like to seek your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says Nik. "It's immoral! Men and women always dance separately!"

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"You are right! " answered Nik, "It's the law! It's forbidden in Kelantan."

"Well, okay," says Ali
"What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the Nik, "Sex is OK within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks Ali.

"No problem!" says Nik.

"Woman on top?" Ali asks.

"Sure," says Nik.

"Doggy style?"


"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Can I do it with all my four wives together with a bottle of honey, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of ice and a porno video?"

"Yes, yes, yes!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No, absolutely not!" says Nik.

"Why not?" asks Ali.

"Because that could lead to dancing!!!"

Monday, August 20, 2007

Malaysia Can Export Monkey Already


According to The Star:

Natural Resources and Environment Minister Datuk Seri Azmi Khalid said the Cabinet, at its meeting on June 27, agreed to lift the ban to export monkeys found in urban areas as the public had complained of having foodstuff stolen and being attacked by the animals.

However, he gave an assurance that there would not be “total elimination” of the long-tailed macaque from city areas and they would still be allowed to roam around as long as the numbers were “ideal.”

According the Lin Peh, many of the meeting-meetings in the country will have to be cancelled after exporting all the monkeys because not enough quorum la.


Friday, August 17, 2007

Dating With Different Type of Chics

Many peeple been asking Lin Pehto teach them the Art of Dating. So, today Lin Peh will give you a summary about what you should expect when dating with chis from different race.



First date
You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.

Second date
You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Again, Nothing Happens!

Third date
You usually don't get up to third date beacuse you are smart enough to realize that nothing is ever going to happen.



First date
Meet her parents.

Second date
Set the date of the wedding.

Third date
Wedding night.



First date
You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date
You get to grope all over and make out a bit.

Third Date
She moves in.
One week later, her father, , her 4 mother, her 18 sisters, her 20 brothers, all of their kids, her 16 grandmas, her father's girlfriend's mother, her 268 cousins all move in.

But don't worry you can repeat this 4 times. ;-)



First Date
You both get fucking drunk and have sex.

Second Date
You both get fucking drunk and have sex.

20th Anniversary
You both get fucking drunk and have sex.



First Date
Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.

Second Date
You are shot dead.

Third date
Not Applicable

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

New Dress Code

Recently, Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM) imposed a new dress code for all the students. The dresscoode can be seen here:


More infor can also be found at Kampua Talk

According to The Star, UUM deputy vice-chancellor (Student Affairs and Alumni) Assoc Prof Dr Ahmad Faiz Hamid said that the students must abide by the dress code which does not allow the wearing of revealing clothes.

“The university does not make any ruling that discriminates any race. The rulings that we make are in the best interest of students, regardless of race or religion,” he said.

In conjunction with that, the very fehmes Lin Cocka Wingz University also imposed its new dress code which can be seen here:


The Senior Vice-chancellor (Student and Alumni Secret Love Affairs) Ass Professor Dr Cocka said that all the students must abide by the dress code which is in line with their studies.

“The university does not make any ruling that discriminates any race. The rulings that we make are in the best interest of proffessors, staffs, students, regardless of race or national origin. That means all the students from Piaomei and Yamade country also must follow” he said.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Olin iWallop - Merdeka Edition

In conjunction with our August celebration, Olin will be presenting to you the limited edition of

iWallop - Merdeka Edition

Instead of powered by the normal Kawasaki 70cc Kapchai engine, this special limited edition iWALLOP will be powered by the Proton Gila engine which has the power to go 200km/hour in less than 20 second, therefore you can be assured of the best walloping in your life! This special Merdeka Edition makes a wide variety of positions possible, but the most unqiue part is the adjustable natural movements of the seats.









This edition is specifically designed to suit lazy people who does not like to work and yet want to enjoy and those who overweight from eating too much nasi lemak or minum too much Kopi-O. In short, its purpose is damn 9 very meaningful for a country celebrating its 50th Anniversary!

For the first 100 customers, we will deliver the iWallop - Merdeka Edition at your location and install it for you. For the first 100 piaomei who purchase it, Lin Peh will personally teach you how to use it! FREE OF CHARGE !!!

Since the seats are made of special dunno what skin fabric, cleaning the Chair is easy but we don't think you will be cleaning it so often as it will be in used most of the time.

This special edition is equiped with 2 control istead of one. Using the right side controls (if you are sitting on the big seat) you can select to manual set the movement or choose between different automatic programs. You can also select clockwise or anti clockwise movement, and set the speed of the movement.


The left control is for you to lift or lower the big seat. You can select back and forward movement, and set the speed of the movement. One of the main features is the vibration of the big seat. This vibration is also controlled here. Bare in mind that the top speed is 200km/hour so please set only to the speed that you can handle. Olin will not be responsible for any damage done to your organs.


Here are some of the recommended positions that you can perform:









However, we at Olin are sure you can create even more positions with your humsap mind! With Olin iWallop - Merdeka Edition, The limit is your imagination!

Another Great Produck by:

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Want to be a Millionaire ?

The host of


Joined MCA


Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Latest in Blog Advertising - Lafflin


Lin Peh just launched the latest and greatest Blog Advertising Community - Lafflin. Unlike all the other blog advertising companies, Lafflin requires no prior registration, no prior approval and accept all the blogs that are deems to be racist, sexually explicit, religious fanatics, and all the condemn gaoment blogs that no one else will even want to be affiliated with.

Objective of lafflin:
To create an opportunity for bloggers in an unique and simplicity with excitements, perseverance and creeds to success with eyes for detail, plus an open mind to all possibilities with considerations.

What do you need to do:

Very simple, just put a link at your blog to Unlike other blog ad companies that request you to put their link high high at prominent location, lafflin don't give a fuck about where you put the link, location is not our priority! In addition, the description of the link can be anything also but here are some suggestions if you need some good ideas:

For Female Bloggers:
Piao Ker Lin Peh
Lin Peh Leng Chai
Lin Peh Kor Kor

For Male Bloggers:
Lin Peh Tai Kor
Lin Peh Tai Lou
Best Blogger in Town

How the system work:
You will be paid according to the visitor stat to your blog. However, because lafflin's stat counter damn kao pahwer one so you no need to install any script into your blog thus you no need to be afraid of any spyware, skyware or underwear embedded in your blog. From time to time, lafflin will sukak sukak send you a report about the stats. Please bare in mind that lafflin has the best stat counter in the entire universe because it is a state of art engine created using Sumatra language one and the results may be different from those generated by other stat counters which uses the Java language. In the event if you start questioning lafflin punya stat counter, lafflin will shoot you with a standard letter, tell you that lafflin stat counter is the most pahwer and aat the same time ask you to shut the fuck up and fuck yourself provided that your lanjiao is long enough.

How do we compute your earning:
Your earning is based solely on lafflin's discreetion one. Sometimes, it will be based on the number of visitors to your blog, sometimes based on number of clicks but most of the time, it's base on how much lafflin feel like giving out. So, don't be surprise that you have 1,000 unique visitors per day but get paid like 10 cent only because nothing is impossible at lafflin. Like that you can be assured that lafflin won't go chap lap and we can do business foreever!

How will you be paid:
Lafflin's finance department is headed by the damn famous prince from Africa - Prince Ngongngongsorhai. He will send you an email when your accumulated earning reach about USD 30 million. His email will generally have the title "Congratulation" or "Urgent". In his email, he will ask for your bank account number and after you reveal your account number to him, he will guide you through the entire process on how to get your money.

How does lafflin make money:
Do you really care ?

How does lafflin compete with other Blog Ad companies:
Lafflin no compete wan. NO FIGHT LA ! Mo Tak Teng!

Who is behind lafflin:
Lafflin is owned and marketed by Lafflin Very Limited Corporation (a subsidiary of Olin) and a group of distress and half-dead bloggers who have been actively contribute and consult the Lafflin Team with their damn fucking ideas.