Tok 3 Tok 4

Friday, March 30, 2007

Latest on Money Politics

Today, Lin Peh discovered something very interesting while reading the Humhai Aceone Blog. This is what Lin Peh saw:

Can see or not? If not, let's zoom in and take a closer look at his adsense:

Niamafulatt! this is definitely one of the most Shockalingam of 2007!

Shockalingam No.1: DAP is advertising on adsense!

Shockalingam No.2: Humhai Aceone blog was selected to advertise for DAP!

Since Humhai Aceone is getting paid when peeple click on the DAP advert, is this money politics ? HAHAHAHA!

If the gaoment know about this, Lin Peh can imagin the reactions will be something like this:

"I don't care how many As Aceone scored in his UPSR, if he does not remove the advertisement, I will show him my Keris!"

"I repeat, 80 percents Malaysian Bloggers are Unemployed Women who are Liers and Aceone is no exception!"

"What kind of nonsense is this? You have NST, Utusan, Nanyang, RTM and you are afraid of Aceone? THIS IS DEMOCRAZY!"

Anyway, the conclusion is:

"The pay-per-click Aceone charging DAP is still the cheapest in the WORLD!"

Monday, March 26, 2007

Lin Peh's Baby Post

Many peeples got very excited when Lin Peh mentioned about doing a baby post. Some thought my piaomei pregnant liao (TIU!), others thought Lin Peh sort kao jor (lagi TIU!) However, you need not worry because the answer is non of the above!

If you are a regular blog readers, Lin Peh sure you have come across many bloggers who posted baby pictures of themselves to ensure peeple that they were damn cute once upon a time (recent examples: NyonyaPenang and Aceone....HAHAHAH!). On the other hand, those who never had their fair share of cuteness would post pics and/or video of their babies on a regular basis to tell peeple that they are genetically cute also (prime examples: Sasha and Zara mama...hahaha!).

However, after Lin Peh's extensive research, it is confirmed that no one have posted baby video of themselves. So, Lin Peh decided so sacrifice lor ! Ladies and genitlemen... For the first time in the history of Tok 3 Tok 4, Lin Peh will show you a video of Lin Peh taken long time ago when Lin Peh was still a baby. Hope you like it:

Cute or not ? ;-)

Friday, March 23, 2007

Rejected by Pay Per Post


Since everyone has been talking about pay per post, Lin Peh also want to make some money by doing some paid posts! However, after submitted the registration, Lin Peh got the following mail from their SUPPORT TEAM:

Dear Lin Peh,

Thank you for your blog submission!

Unfortunately, your blog violates our terms of service under the

* Excessive profanity

Your blog would fall into this category. Sorry :(

Thank you!
The PayPerPost Team

Niamafulatt ! Lin Peh writing so kao powder also they don't want Lin Peh to help meh? So, Lin Peh try to see what so condemn with my blog until they refuse to let Lin Peh write about their produck. So, Lin Peh went through all the posts, piece by piece, word by word. Finally Lin Peh understood their reason of "Excessive Profanity". It means:

Lin Peh is Excessively PRO in writing with many FANsi and their pay Is too petTY!

Lucky they found out early ! If not sure KNNBCCB wan ! ;-)

By the way, you may also read all the previous posts in this blog and see whether you agree with Lin Peh!

Anyway, please check this blog frequenly because Lin Peh will be upgrading my image a bit by doing a baby post soon! Meanwhile, have a good weekend and don't drink and yamade because no good for your lanjiao and chibye! HAHAHAHHAH!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Citibank - Paperless means Infoless ?

Citibank, the TOP Environmentally Friendly bank in Malaysia, started to practise paperless policy for their housing loan customers since last year. Which means:

1. You will not receive any more monthly statement. (So they can save money and claim to be environmentally friendly!)

2. You won't know when is the due date of your next payment. (So you will be late and they can charge you late payment fees!)

3. You won't know the exact amount of your next payment.(So you will be charged a late payment fees for a minimal shorfall because you stupid dunno how to calculate the amount yourself!)

So, as a community service provider, Lin Peh wrote to them and ask them whether Lin Peh can find out the related info thru internet because their website can do wonder for their Credit Card customers; do what fuck also can wan! And here's the reply:

We regret to advise that the bank has discontinued sending out monthly statement for housing loan. The information on Housing Loan outstanding balance and installment due can only be viewed if the customer has a banking account with the ATM card.

We would recommend that you obtain more information via our phone banking by accessing using your telephone PIN. Kindly contact our 24hours CitiPhone Banking at 03-23830000 (KL), 04-2960000 (Penang) and 07-2680000 (Johor Bahru) for assistance to create your TPIN. We wish to advise that the same TPIN will be applicable to all your accounts in Citibank Malaysia.

We hope the above clarifies.

Thank you for visiting Citibank’s website and have a nice day.

If you don't understand the reply, let Lin Peh summarise the reply to you in Engrish:

1. The info you requested is actually available but we will only tell you if you also open banking account with us and let us make more money !

2. And please remember to get your ATM card from us when you open your other banking account with us because only our ATM card will let you check the info of your housing loan. Other banks punya ATM card cannot do wan ! Magic leh ?

3. If you refuse to follow our instruction 1 & 2 above, you can still check the balance but we will make your life difficult a little bit la - You have to use our very super powder phone banking.

4. Our phone banking system requires you to get your TPIN but you please do not complain first because the TPIN is so powder you can it for all your Citibank accounts within Malaysia. Powder leh ?

You realize nothing was mention about internet? So, you basically have to be a good customer who knows how to calculate the payment yourself or alternatively you can go fuck ourself la!

p.s. Their friendly customer service will call on the day after the due date on a monthly basis and WARN you that you have been late ;-)

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Mandarin from Muar

Lin Peh saw this very nice video on youtube today and would like to share it with you all here !

The video is a homemade MTV with a kampong boy from Muar singing his own composition "Mandarin from Muar". For those of you who don't know, the peeples from the sounthern part of Malaysia, Muar included, speak mandarin with a strong kampong accent and this MTV is like a tribute to those who speak the Muar's Mandarin.

Lin Peh really like it and hope this kampong boy by the name of 明志 (Ming Zhi) will make it big someday ! Bravo to 明志 (Ming Zhi) for a wonderful MTV, Lin Peh wish you the best !

Ladies and genitalmen, HERE WE GO !

Friday, March 16, 2007

Together Gather Bloggers Party: Behind the Scene

It's been a week since the Together Gather Bloggers Party and we have seen all sorts of reviews written about it. However, today Lin Peh will tell you something that happened behind the scene:

When Wingz did his post on Jessbabe, the entire commitee thought that Wingz has found the hottest Malaysian Chic in the Blogsphere!

So, all the mahlatt lor in the commitee got very sexcited and pressured Wingz to bring along The Flippingskirt Jessbabe to come for committee meeting! But little did they know that in actual fact, Wingz didn't even know her! So, Wingz got panic when Aceone-The Humhai threathen to quit if he did not get to meet Jessbabe! At that time, Wingz knew he got himself in deep trouble already so he called Lin Peh to help!

Being such a good friend of Wingz, Lin Peh quickly pick up the phone and call Sasha because she is a very helpful person and she claimed that her skirt also can flip!

Ladies and Genitleman, here she is, the pirated version of Jessbabe:

Sasha - Skirt Also Can Flip Wan!


Thursday, March 15, 2007

An Open Letter to Toudai

Wahai Toudai,

Lin Peh know recently you very tulan because got one mother fucker condemned your friends who were the emcees during the Together Gather party

and if that is not enough, he somemore called you FAGGOT! (HAHAHAH...actually...damn funny also).

However, since you every month pay Lin Peh RM108 for proteksion money, Lin Peh must fullfill the responsibility by PROTEKTING you ! That's why when you wrote your post to skykeep kao the mother fucker, Lin Peh's advice was:

"Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long"

But you sorhai last time your father ask you go school you ponteng! So, your reply to Lin Peh was:

"mahai...dun speak england to me la....lim peh dern understand oi!!!"

Therefore, you are giving Lin Peh no choice but to teach you how to sky keep the mother fucker in the niamafulatt punya layman language!

1. Go to his blog and click kao his adsense!
Like old chinese saying "want to do stupid job, hire the foreign workers". So, just pay RM18.90 per day to the bangla workers and ask them sit in front the computer for 24 hours and click kao his adsense!

Lin Peh sure he damn happy wan ! HAHAHHAH!

2. Don't link him!
Condemn 9 him until he cannot recognize his father mother but don't give any link to him because his intention was to generate traffic to his blog.

So, if you don't link to him, peeple all also fuck him no free wan ! Like that you get to FUCK him kao kao yet he can't achieve his objective ! Very soon, he will be so tulan until his sperm cum out from nose!

3. Go condemn at his blog!
Everyday go put condemn at his condemn box until he cannot tahan and close down the blog. If he ever condemn back, you tell him it's freedom of speech and you go ask the Sky to Keep him lor! Example of Lin Peh punya creation can be seen here at 9393! HAHAHAHA!

Anyway, whatever you do, please do not insult his father and mother! Like the old chinese peeple saying "Face condemn not necessary Father Mother's Fault" ! There are many factors to have a condemn face, it could be due to giving too much speech at party, telling peeple he found his galfriend thru blogging and last but not least...lack of sex! LOL!

Since the fucker already posted a "Sok Tao U Kuai" (shrink head tortoise) post in which he admitted defeat by saying:

Lin Peh hereby declare you are the WINNER !

Remember, winning is not everything but LOSING SUCKS !

In conclusion, this is what we all should learn from this whole incident:

With the above, you have been promoted to Yellow Belt liao. From now on, the monthly proteksion money increase to RM168.

Majulah blogging untuk negara dan diri anda. Tank Q very much !

Your sifu,

Lin Peh
A Specilist in doing skool assinments:
Primary Skool(RM5 per assignment),Secondary Skool(RM10 per assinment)

Additional services available:
Bully you classmate
130cm to 140cm(RM20),140cm to 150cm(RM50),Above 150cm(negotiable)
Beat up your teacher:
Female teacher(RM100),Male Teacher(RM200),Headmaster(Negotiable)

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mission 2057 (Misi 2057)

In conjunction with the announcement of the Mission 2057, Lin Peh will like to give prediction opinion on what will happpen to the world in the year 2057 and what we can do to help:

Base on the rate that it is going, students will be scoring 40As in their SPM by the year 2057. However, the overall "intelligence" will still be pretty screwed! So screrwed even those fellas in the newspaper can't differenciate between 19As and 18As! (Niama! Count properly la before making a fool out of yourself!)

Internet Connection:

The internet connection will still be very slow when you go to the porn sites because they will be a lot of dirty minded old fuckers due to the ageing of the world population. However, sites like Disney and Cartoon Network will be spared from this type of problem!


It has been this way for the past hundreds years and it will continue to be this way:


Due to the advancement of genetic engineering, our future generation will all look like this:

And, thanks to the medical technology, the average lifespan will be something like 100+ years old and we all will look like this:

If you are expecting the young generation to have any respect for us you may go screw yourself! Lin Peh can garenti there is no fucking way la ! These young punks will be sending all of us to the movie studio and made us act in some horror movies without any makeup! Niamafulatt!

So, What Can We Do ?

NO WORRY LA! Because peeples in our generation all smart smart wan ! We already invented nuclear weapons and punch a big fucking hole on the ozone layer. So, by the year 2057, if any of them show any disrespect, didn't score enough A in the SPM, or trying to mess around with our hairstyle, we can just press a few button on our phone and launch a nuclear missile at the location where those young fuckers are partying !

So, let's continue screw up the planet !


Saturday, March 10, 2007

Review: Together Gather Bloggers Party 2007

At the very last minute, Lin Peh came to an understanding with the high authority and the clothing issue was resolved without any bloodshed! So, Lin Peh was there at the party last night with all my friends!

Here is the review of the party by Lin Peh:

The Timing
Many peeples were late because yesterday was a very auspicious date according to Confusious. HO WONG AH ! So 9 WONG UNTIL KL ALL JAM WAN ! But everyone still get to makan early ! HAHAHAH!

The Attendence
Fully packed ! 100% sold out ! RM35 for hotel buffet somemore got doorgifts and lucky draws sure la sold out ! Even use Puki Jalil also full la !

The Food
See "The Attendence"

The Games
The game very good but asking peeple to produce Bra is susah la because all the female bloggers no wear bra wan ! HAHAHAHH!

The Doorgifts
The goodie bag so damn full and heavy, Lin Peh have to use 2 hands to carry. What is there to complain ?

Overall Response
It was the best party Lin Peh ever attended (actually, it was the only party that Lin Peh ever attended), everybody there pretend to seems to enjoy.

Lin Peh like to take this opportunity to Tank Q the entire working committee for making the event a success. These peeples are:

1. Wingz - The Chairman
2. Shireen - The Chairwoman
3. Frostier - The Chief Commander
4. Aceone - The Transportation Minister
5. CKYeo - The Chief Security Officer
6. 9393 - The Fund Raiser
7. Ah Huey - The Gate Keeper
8. JKN - The Entertainment Director
9. Kenny Ng - The Multimedia Director
10. ~TheAngel~ - The Designer
11. PennyPupz - The Announcer

Lin Peh also like to Tank Q all the sponsors

Without you, cheapskate bloogers like Lin Peh will not be able to make it.

The movie tickets come very handy, can use them to tackle piaomei.

The decoration very nice. The balloon very nice. Lin Peh sure Wingz keeping some of them to reuse as condom

Your gifts very nice. HAO WONG AH!

You very powderful! Even PIKOM Chairman have to Tank Q u !

Your music very nice!

Lin Peh heard your gifts very nice but Lin Peh no lucky enough to get. Got spare one ?

The chics who manage your booth very nice.

Lin Peh heard your gifts also very nice but Lin Peh also no get. Got spare one ?

You Very Nice !

Your cap very nice and your property also very nice, got discount if Lin Peh buy whole block? ;-)

Your Magazine Very Nice!

The chics who manage your booth also very nice!

The chics who manage your booth lagi nice!

Last night no black out ! You the real powderful!

Your cameraman very pro! Make Lin Peh feel like celebrity like that !

Your hotel very nice! Can apply to masuk the National Heritage!

Last but not least, Lin Peh woud like to also tank the following for signing authograph for Lin Peh:

Ah Nel
Alvin Chong
Andrew Yeong
April Ng
April Yim
Arif Sanchez
Arsyan Ismail
Boss Stewie
Earl Ku
FL Sam
James Yang
Janice Looi
Jess Chong
Jason Mumbles
Jiun Jie
King's Wife
Laundry Amah
Liew Cheon Fong
Liew Mun Tien
Matthew Kang
Mei Yee
Mikel D.Lian
Sui Lynn
The Snark
Vicky Au Yong

Tank Q Again ! See you next time !

Friday, March 09, 2007

What to wear for Tonight's Party ?

Lin Peh sure you all know that tonight is the night for the famous Together Gather Bloggers Party and Lin Peh was very honoured to be invited to the party.

Since this is the first time Lin Peh attending such a big function, Lin Peh has actually hire a very fehmes Itali punya Designer, Jiao Jiao Air Mani, to design a special suit for Lin Peh to wear to this function. Here it is:

What do you think ? Nice leh ?

However, this morning Lin Peh received a phone call from a high authority. They asked Lin Peh not to wear clothing designed by foreign designer because they said Malaysia so damn big cannot even find one designer meh ? And the high authority actually want Lin Peh to wear this special outfit design by our local designer:

Niamafulatt...Lin Peh see ledi also know the outfit is actually the outfit of our local Cicakman la!

Lin Peh know it is nice to respect our local designer but wearing what to a function is a very personal thing and "It has everything to do with my principles, honour and dignity," so Lin Peh may not appear at all tonight unless this issue can be resolved on time.

A similar incident actually happened lately. Detail can be found HERE or HERE

Friday, March 02, 2007

Message for Together Gather Bloggers Party

Name: Lin Peh
Age: 10,000 years (Man Shui)

The universal rule is very simple: When you are invited to a dinner, all you need to do is to bring an angpao or a gift. Usually, what we will do is we give big angpao if the host is rich because we want face; and we give small cheapalak gift if the host is living below poverty because we scare that fella will come borrow money from us !

However, we can forget about the rules about angpao and the gifts for now because for the first time in the history of mankind, all the guests to this party are required to write a message! Conclusion: Malaysian economy very good ! All eat free nothing to do !

Since this message will be printed on a book and cannot be easily deleted with a few mouse clicks, Lin Peh was told not to simply condemn. Well, asking Lin Peh not to condemn is like asking the Malaysian football team not to use their legs. On second thought, Lin Peh think this is what they have been doing which means it is possible! So Lin Peh will not condemn anything about politics, sex, race, religion and TOLL PLAZA! HAHAHA!

Nevertheless, being a very netsponsible blogger, Lin Peh will adhere to all the requirements and write something nice before the gaoment invite Lin Peh to sit in their official Roti Car. So, here’s the message:

Thank you all for making this possible.