Tok 3 Tok 4

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Zinedine Zidane Headbutt

The world cup is over but many peeples are still debating on what really happened in the Zinedine Zidane's headbutt incident. To find out about the truth, Lin Peh has done an extensive research and gathered all the video footage from TV stations around the world. Here they are:

German TV
German TV.gif

Italy TV

American TV

Malaysian TV

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Hungry Ghost My Foot !

Today is the first day of the seventh lunar month. Some peeples also called this the Ghost Month! So, to honor all the Ghosts especially the Hum Sap Ghosts, Lin Peh will tell you what is this Hungry Ghost all about before you learn "the other" version from Universiti Putra Malaysia. HAHAHAHHA !

Warning: If you find the following article sensitif, please stop reading and go read my other humsap posts ;-)

General Perception

The general perception about the Hungry Ghost Month is that the superstitious Chinese believe that the Gates of hell are opened during this month and all the Ghosts from hell will be released to the earth. So, to prevent the Hungry Ghost from disturbing the earth and the living, the Chinese will be offering food, paper monies, goodies and entertainment to the ghosts.

The Truth - Lin Peh Version

First of all, Lin Peh tink the Engrish name HUNGRY GHOST MONTH is WRONG! I mean FUCKING WRONG! As far as Lin Peh is concerned, the chinese NEVER refer to the 7th lunar month as Hungry Ghost month! Have you ever heard anyone say "Ngor Kwai Yit" in cantonese, "Yao Kui Gueh" in Hokkien or "Er Gui Yue" in mandarin ? NO NO NO!!! So, Lin Peh conclusion is Chinese ghost no hungry! Perhaps the Engrish name was done by some fuckers who tink that Chinese are very hungry! Diuniamachaohai to the one gave it this kind of Lanjioa name ! Niama !

All the cultures and religions in this world belif that death is not the end. Instead, we all belif that death is the beginning of a journey to the new world, may it be heaven, a new life or some form of eternity. Therefore, prayers are given to the death so that the spirit can go smoothly and peacefully to the new world. However, some of the unfortunates may not get the prayers because they got no decendents, they died during war, their death was not known, their body never discovered or no one give a fuck about them when they died. The Chinese belif that these poor spirits will therefore be wandering around without proper directions.

To take care of this wandering spirits, the Chinese peeples designate the seventh lunar month as the month to honour the forgotten spirits and a time to help the unfortunates. That's why mass prayers are performed for the wandering spirits at road side with the hope that these spirits will find their way to the new world after the prayers. In addition, all the proceeds collected during the prayers are donated to charitible organisations.

To make the mass prayer more interesting and exciting, many organisers also hire those skimpily attired sexy chics to perform in order to attract more peeples to come. This has been seriously condemned but Lin Peh don't see anything wrong with it as long as the chic is a real chic and not some aunties who dress like teenagers ! Of course the nen nen also must be big enough la! hahahahha!

With all the rituals and "entertainment", every year during this time, there will be some hypocrates out there who will launch their condemns regarding this folk belif of the Chinese peeple. They will condemn that the burning of paper monies, paper DVD players, paper computers as nothing but wasteful acts. But Lin Peh tink there is nothing wrong with it because culture and religious practise must also improve with time la. What's the problem as long as peeples who are practising it does not go around and disturb the rest? Their method may be unscientific but what is? If other religion and belif can follow the advancement of tehnology in one way or another, why can't the Chinese? Lin Peh sure the original mosques were not equiped with loud speakers and the original christmas tree has no electrical blinking lights either ;-) Correct or not ?

With this post, Lin Peh hope that we all can have a better understanding about the "Hungry Ghost Month" and Lin Peh also hope that we all can learn the truth about other cultures, belifs and religions so that we can respect each other better ;-)

Friday, July 21, 2006

Solved Mystery: Why Wingz No Kiu Kai

Saw Tan Sri Wingz at Messenger yesterday so Lin Peh decided to find out more about his recent Thai Cock trip.

Lin Peh:
Woi Tan Sli! Cum back ledi ah ? Apa macam ?

Latok! Ok la. Spent so much money now bisi working lor.

Lin Peh:
So, how was Thai Cock ? Everyone said you go there kiu kai until dunwan cumback liddat wor...true or not ?

No la. I good boy la. I no kiu kai wan. I go there shoot gun only. You no see my post meh ?

Lin Peh:
Shoot lanjiao la ! You tink Lin Peh 3 years old kah ?

Serious wan la. Actually, long time ago I got go kiu kai one time but very bad experience that's why I dare not go anymore.

Lin Peh:
So bad ah ? The Kai rape 9 You ah ? hahahah !

Diu you la! Actually it happened during my birthday many years back when I was still a virgin and my friend Cocka decided to gimme a treat and took me go kiu kai.

Lin Peh:
Wah! You got such a nice friend, you untong lor! So, what went wrong?

You see, I was still virgin and didn't really know how to do it wan. So, I ask cocka and he told me "very easy wan, if you feel shy, you just off all the lights and use your hand to feel her body....until you find one hole that is surrounded by hairy take out your dick and push it in la. Simple"

Lin Peh:
Wah! no wonder he is now the Dean of the Lin-Cocka-Wingz University College Of Creative Yamade. So, did it help ? Was it good ?

Well, to celebrate my birthday, Cocka took me go drinking first before the action.
So, after all the drinking, Cocka called the Mamasan to arrange for a Kai to wait for me in the room and then he went to his own room without giving any warning.

Lin Peh:
Then ?

Then......I went to the room lor. The room already dark dark...but mana tahu....I salah masuk Cocka's room. End of Story!

Lin Peh:

Ladies and Genitlemen, to understand what happen, here is the picture of cocka:

Since then, Wingz decided no more kiu kai and Cocka decided to keep his mustache forever. They both live happily ever after.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Fehmes Blogger do Nasional Service !

Yesterday Tan Sri Wingz ask Lin Peh whether got read the singapore's StarBlogs because he said got many leng looi and leng chai bloggers there.

I went and check it out and wah lao eh, it seems like these 7 young punks kena do national service liddat ! What happen is that these 7 so-called STAR BLOGGERS will write their opinion on a given topic evey monday on the Straits Times blog site and they are given topics like:

  • Public trust in charities

  • The brave new (media) world

  • Singapore - A fine city without social graces.

    Niama ! these topics are political screwed up that their gaoment has done and the 7 punks were asked to save the gaoment face by writing something good about it. Diu lor !

    In addition, every wednesday evening these 7 punks have to go online and kena fuck backside by their readers !

    After I see that, Lin Peh laughed and told Wingz that he should be happy that he is not a Singaporean. Imagin the kind of stress that he has to go thru every week when he has to turn something bad about the gaoment into something good and if that is not enough, he has to sit in front of his computer screen every week and tell peeples that the backside fucking that he is getting is indeed orgasmic! Fu Latt lor !

    So, Lin Peh ask Wingz whether he got read the Star Blog ? His answer was he only click there to look at the Lady Star Bloggers pics and Ta Fei Kei! Lin Peh say liddat might as well go see the playboy or penthouse site cause there got show the big nen nen somemore! LOL!

    Anyway, if you look at it from another angle, getting called by the national service is also not so bad cause the major newspaper will give you a name STAR BLOGGERS (STAR wor...damn solid name) plus free publicity ! If you are lucky, maybe they will even let you go world tour like Andy Lau liddat but when come back home make sure you tell peeples that all the other countries all sucks la. LOL!

    But actually the Singapore gaoment also damn pitiful la. Their young peeples all go vote the opposition during their recent general erection. So, the gaoment got no choice but to find way to win back their young peeples thrust. That's why they trying to win back all these young peeples vote thru the Star Blog projeck.

    Well, if this method works, Lin Peh afraid our boleh gaoment will be doing the similar thing before the next general erection and Wingz better clean his backside if that is true. But luckily, our gaoment is currently very busy. Busy deciding which documents to declassfied, how to justify the RM490 mil on the Sports Complex, and wondering why Siti decide to get marry ;-)

  • Tuesday, July 11, 2006

    How we did in Germany ?

    Lin Peh been very busy lately with the new maid and at the same time trying to hide from those peeples whom I lost the world cup betting to. Anyway, got many peeples asked Lin Peh how did the Bloggers Maraysia Team performed in Germany. So, Lin Peh will now post show you the video of how we did. (WARNING: PLEASE DUN SCREAM YAMADE! YAMADE! WHEN YOU SEE SENG KOR, COCKA, LIN PEH, ROJAK ETC ALL IN AKSION). Here you go:

    Friday, July 07, 2006

    Window Cleaner Available

    Lin Peh just got a new maid from Japan. She is very good cleaning especially in cleaning windows. If you happen to need someone to clean your windows, please contact Lin Peh directly and we can share out the cost. To show you how good she is, here is the video of her cleaning Lin Peh's window:

    Please download the file from HERE

    Tuesday, July 04, 2006

    How to choose a baby's sex ?

    The use of genetic testing to choose a baby's sex will be banned in Malaysia because the gaoment don't wan us to play god. However, Lin Peh has decided to reveal the secret in this "sex choosing technology" here. As usual, it's FREE OF CHARGE!

    To Get Baby Gal
    If you wan to get a baby gal, please do the woman-on-top pattern, examples are as follows:

    To Get Baby Boy
    If you wan to get a baby boy, please do the man-on-top pattern, examples are as follows:

    Be careful when you try the following patterns because you may get puppies: