Tok 3 Tok 4

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Last Cabinet Meeting

Tuesday, 19 February 2008

Pak Lah: This is the last meeting we are going to have before I make my decision on who our candidates are. First of all, I would like to thank Keng Yaik and Affendi for voluntarily backing out. You are truly gentlemen. Anyone else wants to back out? Think of the party, not of yourself.

Najib: I think Samy should back out la.

Samy: Apa pasai? Why you think I should back out? Why not you?

Najib: You are a liability to MIC and BN la Samy, accept it la.

Samy: What do you mean liability? Give me proof?

Hisham: Ayo Samy, our intelligence report say, we will lose almost 100% of Indian votes if you still lead MIC. If you get lost, maybe we can bring it down to 60%.

Samy: Pakla, don't listen to this two young punks la. Let me read this report just sent to me. After extensive intelligence gathering, we find that 20% of the Indians hated Samy Velu. Ha, only 20% la, where got 100%?

Nazri: Hey Samy I also got the same report la. Why don't you continue?

Samy: Okay, I'll continue, 40% cannot stand to see his face and 35% will kill him if they were to meet him. 5% believe that he is a good leader. Ha, I still got 5% what?

Pak Lah: Come on la Samy, you've been around for a long time already; you have made your money. You are even richer than me, so back out la. Think of the party la Samy.

Samy: Yes, I am richer than you but Najib, 2 deals only is already richer than me, why not ask him also to go? His submarine and Sukhoi and Altantunya also make him a liability what.

Pak Lah: I know that one, but he is from UMNO, that is the difference. The Malays will accept corrupt Malay leaders, as long as they potong, its okay.

Samy: Oh, kalu chunik potong kalu, berapa banyak rasuah pun takpa ka? Mana adil ini macam Pakla?

Najib: That is the way it is in this country Samy. We all from UMNO got immunity, you people, tadak potong punya, don't.

Samy: No, saya akan tetap bertanding.

Kayveas: Adei Samy, listen to them la, what they say is true la. Don't talk about justice all la, as if you are concerned about justice. This is not the place to be talking about justice la old man. We want to win. If that means you will be dropped then so be it.

Samy: Dei Kayveas, you just shut up la. You budak lagi la, you apa tau? What you want to be champions of the Indians ka? If I am forced to back out, I make sure you go down with me. Hey, Mahathir also cannot force me out la.

Kayveas: Tengok Pakla, tadak guna punya Hindu. Think of himself only. Just shoot him la Pakla, don't give chance. Najib, itu C4 lagi ada ka? Mari kita sekarang taroh itu C4 sama dia. Cilaka punya orang.

Keng Yaik: Samy ah, enough la. So long already you in the cabinet. You want to stay until you die ka? What you think they will bury you in the Makam Pahlawan ka? Every time people curse you la. Now even your own race cannot stand you, give up la Samy. Come join me la. We all retire. After all, we are not sure if we are going to win this time around. BN also not sure going to win or not.

Pak Lah: What are you talking about Kheng Yaik? Why you say like that? Lu jaga lu punya mulut ah Apek.

Keng Yaik: No la Pak Lah, If everyone wants to deny us 2/3 majority, then all of them would not vote us la. We may lose more than just 1/3 la. Haiya, that one also cannot see ah?

Pak Lah: Maybe the Chinese or Indians la Keng Yaik, not the Malays la. The Malays love UMNO.

Keng Yaik: Are you sure ah Pak Lah? Now even the Chinese and Indians are willing to vote PAS if it is the only opposition available to them, don't you think that there would be Malays willing to vote DAP? Don't be foolish la Pak Lah. Until now still cannot get Kelantan despite all the dirty tricks. Who are majority voters in Kelantan? Malys la, some more what.

Pak Lah: Betoi ka dia kata tu Najib?

Najib: Jangan dengar cakap orang tua penyembur tu la Pak lah. Orang Melayu takkan lupa UMNO punya. Orang Melayu rela mati untuk UMNO

Nazri: Ntah la, ada lojik jugak cakap Keng Yaik tu. Memang la orang Melayu rela mati untuk UMNO tapi rela ka dia mati untuk kita?

Pak Lah: Apa yang orang Melayu tak puaih hati lagi dengan kita? Kita bagi macam-macam kat depa, apa lagi dia mau?

Kah Ting: Lu mau tau ka? Dia olang tengok sumua itu UMNO punya olang besar manyak kaya. Bikin lumah banyak besar. Keleta 4, 5, sumua mahal-mahal punya. Dulu punya Melayu punya UMNO punya olang tak buat itu macam. Kalau dia kaya pun, dia tak tunjuk sama olang. Sekalang punya UMNO punya olang manyak sombong oh. Dia kaya, dia selalu tunjuk. Dia tak takot punya. Itu olang Melayu biasa tak suka la ini macam punya sombong punya olang.

Nazri: Apa, salah ka dia beli rumah besar dan kereta besar? Apa orang Cina saja ka buleh beli rumah besar. Pak Lah, letak Kah Ting kat Tanjong tengok. Jom kita tengok orang Cina suka kat dia ka tak?

Keng Yaik: Tak salah, tapi baru 2, 3 hari jadi menteri sudah kaya ka? Dia punya gaji berapa? Dulu jaga gate keretapi sekarang boleh bikin Istana, orang tak heran ka la Pak Lah? Your weakness ah, is that you think the Malays are stupid. They are not la Pak Lah. Many have opened their eyes la. Many are not ignorant anymore.

Pak Lah: Alah, kalau kalah pun, kalah sikit saja.

Keng Yaik: Sorry ha Pak Lah if I say something. You have been sleeping too much, you have lost touch with reality.

Pak Lah: I think ah Keng Yaik, you don't resign la. This year you stand in Permatang Pauh, mau ka?

Samy: Pak Lah, saya macam mana?

Pak Lah: Meeting adjourn la, semua balik dulu. Saya mengantok ni. Nanti lain kali la.

Disclaimer: The above "transcript" was not written by Lin Peh; it was spam to my email ! Go catch the Spammer if action has to be taken ;-)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Erection 2008



Thursday, February 21, 2008

Fong Vs Samy - A Comparative Study

Who should you vote for ?
Please Scrool Down.......

Fong Po KuanSamy Vellu
Perak MPPerak MP
Ah MoiAn Neh
Batu GajahPray to Gajah
Known as Cili PadiKnown as Bola Carry
Got married this yearThis year not yet married
Bocor Every MonthBotak Everyday
Rule herself out of coming election due to Internal PoliticsRule everyone else out of coming election due to Internal Politics
Cannot be contacted recentlyAppearing everywhere recently
Got BlogDon't even have Friendster

What's your choice ?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Ideas for Your Valentine Message


For those chics who are interested to have a Valentine's date with Lin Peh, please click HERE.

For those uncle uncle who are still trying to get your own Valentine's chic but don't know how to write romantik romantik message to are some sugegstions from Lin Peh:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you..
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

Good Luck and Happy on Your VD (Valentine's Day) !

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Lin Peh Wishing You, Your Family, Your Extended Family, Your Entire Tribe, Your Pets, Your Piaoker, Your Piaomei, Your Political Party and Your Lingam Lawyer:

Very Happy and Prosperous Gong Xi Fa Cai


This special post is brought to you by:

Gillian Ah Kiu Hairy Abalone by Edison Chan


Edison Mini Sausage by Gillian Ah Kiu