Tok 3 Tok 4

Thursday, November 29, 2007

How Malaysian Are You ?

If you want to know how stupid you are, go take the IQ test.

If you want to know how Emo you are, go take EQ test.

However, if you want to know how Malaysian you are, please take the following MQ test developed by Lin Peh without any kopiright wan!

The test is very simple one. Just answer the following questions and add up you score:

1. When waiting for lift:
A) You press the up button when you want to go up and down button if you want go go down (1 point)

B) You press the up button when you want to go down and down button if you want go go up (5 points)

C) You press both the buttons regardless whether you want to go up or down (10 points)

2. When the lift arrive:
A) You make sure eveyone come out already before you enter (1 point)

B) You see some peeple come out already only you enter (5 points)

C) You no fuck got peeple no peeple come out, you just bulldozer your way in like Maradona wallop the Engrand defenders.

3. On the street:
A) You walk fast fast and drive also fast fast fast (1 point)

B) You walk slow slow and drive also slow slow (5 points)

C) You walk like turtle like that but drive like Formula 1 (10 points)

4. When riding a bike:
A) You ride alone (1 point)

B) You have ONE passenger at the backseat (5 points)

C) You have your entire fucking village on you backseat like circus like that (10 points)

5. Which side of the road do you drive:
A) Left (1 point)

B) Right (5 points)

C) Either side depend on what I like (10 points)

6. You think Washington is:
A) Name of a president (1 point)

B) Name of a city (5 points)

C) Name of Apple (10 points)

7. You think someone with a "bin" in his name is:
A) A Terrorist (1 point)

B) A Rocker (5 points)

C) Own 30% of everything under the sky (10 points)

8. You know Mawi as:
A) Name of a place in Hawaii (1 point)

B) Name of a tribe in New Zealand (5 points)

C) Name of a rock star (10 points)

9. On Education:
A) You failed everything and cannot get a job (1 point)

B) You pass some, fail some and cannot get a job (5 points)

C) You scored all A and cannot get a job (10 points)

10. On Politics:
A) You love your gaoment and you vote for them ( Minus 10 points)

B) You fuck your gaoment and you vote the opposition (5 points)

C) You fuck your gaoment but still vote for them (10 points)

Please add up you score and check the following:

10 to 50 points - You don't belong to Malaysia. You shall be deported !

51 to 99 points - With some training, you can be a good malaysian. You shall be awarded PR status.

100 points - MALAYSIA BOLEH !

Friday, November 23, 2007

Mega Traffic Jam


This morning, as Lin Peh was driving the chibye Proton along the Federal Highway Lin Peh got stuck in a massive traffic jam. Accoring to Rojak punya 9 hai Blog, the jam was because our An Neh Neh bruders each requesting a compensation of RM3.4 Millions from the British gaoment so they want go talk to the Queen E this sunday at the British Hai Commission about the money.

Anyway, after the cars all move slow slow for long time, Lin Peh realize the jam was caused by road block. At the road block, there were some guys carry machine gun checking every car and talking to people through their car windows. So, when it comes to Lin Peh turn, Lin Peh asked "Eh, why block?"

The guy with the machine gun says, "Well, the gaoment scared the An Neh Neh bruders may not be getting the RM3.4 Millions each from the Bristish Gaoment this Sunday. because Engrand lost the Footbal match to croatia and no money liao. As a result, the An Neh Neh bruders may get angry and douse the British Hai Commision in gasoline and burn it down, so we are here to set up a collection booth and try to collect some money for the An Neh Neh bruders to help the An Neh Neh bruders.

Lin Peh asked, "How much have you gotten so far?"

"About twenty gallons."


p.s. The above story is fictitious wan, please don't belief! ;-)

Monday, November 19, 2007

Solution for Erection Problem

According to the video above, the stupid fucker so proud to announce that he got an ERECTION once every 5 years. Actually when got problem like that, please don't go on TV and tell the whole world about it la. Damn 9 embarrasing leh ;-)

However, Lin Peh would recommend that he go get a surgery that takes the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk and insert the trunk in the base of his lanjiao. Because this type surgery can get him very good erection and he can erect anytime he wants to; no need wait until 5 years! This surgery is strongly recommended for peeple like him because his lanjiao can then grow long long and grab apple, banana, sugarcane and insert them into his big asshole ! erection every 5 years and he still dare to admit by telling the whole world on International TV. Tiu you la ! By the way, NOT ALL MALAYSIAN HAVE ERECTION EVERY 5 YEARS OK ? KNNCCB! Get an iPiaomei la ! Niamachaohai! Pukima lu!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

New Malaysian Words

During the recent UMNO gathering, the DPM was a hero liddat because he invented some new Pahwerful malay words such as Glokal and Mengangkasa Bangsa and all the newspaper say he very pandai.

So, to be as trendy as him, Lin Peh also invented a few new words. Please go through them carefully and use them frequently so peeple know you very up to date:

ZAKARASUAH (adjective)
Living in a big bangoro that cannot be justified by one's income.

Rojak always complain he no money but his bangoro is so big. He is such a ZAKARASUAH.

Spending other peeple's money on unnecessary things.

Rojak so stupid. He ANGKASAWANG RM300 on a piaomei last night. He could have sendiri TFK and save that money.

NASRIDIOT (adjective)
Talking nonsense without using brain

Rojak told me last weekend only got 4,000 peeple visited Datarn Merdeka. I think he is becoming an NASRIDIOT liao.

Series of movie clips recorded using handphone.

Rojak told me his handphone is running out of memory because he has a lot of LINGAMOVIE in it.

PROTON (adjective)
A car which power window cannot function wan.

Rojak drives a brand new Lembu-Ghini but the power-window broke down already. It has become a PROTON.


Please write a short story (below 50 words) using the new pahwer words above. The best writer will be properly "rewarded" !

Friday, November 09, 2007

Political Scene in Malaysia






Time to legalise abortion ?

Friday, November 02, 2007

Samy The Astronaut

Note: The following is 100% Copy and Paste


Samy Vellu ditemuramah tentang program angkasawan negara.

Samy: "...Bagi saya, ini semua adalah satu pembaziran atas duit rakyat.
Kita sepatutnya tidak hantar mereka ke bulan, tapi hantar mereka pergi
matahari. Barulah USA, Russia, respect sama kita...."

Penemuramah: Tapi Dato' Seri, matahari kan panas. Macam mana mau pergi
sana ?

Samy: Cit! Itu pasal la lu tara jadi mintri. Saya suda lebey 30 tahun
jadi mintri, saya musti ada jalan penyelesaian. Kita jangan pergi siang,
manyak panas. Kita pigi malam, baru ada sujuuuuuk......

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Good Website Must Share - Samy Vellu Tok Con

As usual, when Lin Peh see something good, Lin Peh like to share with you. Today Lin Peh found a super duper interesting site by the name of Lato Seri Samy Vellu Tok Con


It is the official website of our Dear Lato Seri and it has all his latest information such as his speeches and his activities and you can even contact him! Si peh kuat!

When you click on his speeches, you realize that his speeches also damn pahwer also. He got speeches with title like:

    "A New Identity for Malaysian Indians In A Globalize Society"

    "The Philosophy of Malaysia’s Growth"

Niasing, Pahwer leh ?

In line with his vision of "Make more mani and you jadi more happi!", his website also got accept advertisement wan. For all you know, it may be featuring OLIN advertisement there in the near future. ;-)

In addition, if you want to become his crony buddy, you can also join his My Blog Log as his "member". You see, currently he got only 3 members (2 an-neh-neh plus Lin Peh).


So, please join fast fast before he starts giving out contract too all the "members"!!! You See, got good thing Lin Peh sure share share wan ! HAHAHAHA !