Tok 3 Tok 4

Lin Peh sure you have heard many stories about peeples "chong kuai" (meet the ghost) while staying in hotel. Since many of the readers here are humsap fuckers/fuckees who always go hotel for yamade activities, Lin Peh has compiled a guide on How to Protect Yourself Against the Hotel Ghosts.

How to Protect Yourself Against the Hotel Ghosts

1. Always Book in Advance
Just like what Sasha commented at Lin Peh's earlier post, every hotel has at least a permanent room which should be left vacant at all times no matter how full the hotel is! These rooms are not suppose to be rented out to the guest because these special rooms were "reserved" for the Hotel Ghosts. So, by booking in advance, you will be assured of a normal room.

In the event that you do a last minute walk in for a room and the receptionist told you there's no more room available, DO NOT insist for one or try to bribe them to give you a room. If you do that, most of the time you will be given that "special room".

2. Knock on the Door Before Entering
Lin Peh sure you notice that the Bell Boy who help you carry your luggage to the room always knock at the door or press the "ting tong" before opening the door even tho he knows that the room is vacant. It is actually to alert the Hotel Ghosts to go back to their own "reserved room". So, if you prefer to carry your own bags or piaomei into the room, always remember to do the same.

3. Request to Change Room if You feel "Cold"
If you feel "very cold" suddenly and/or have goose bumps, you can confirm that the room is being "occupied" by the Hotel Ghosts. Please leave the room immediately and go to reception to request to change room. No question will be asked as the hotel receptionists are trained to understand what's happening.

4. Brighthen the Room
After entering the room, immediately switch on all of the lights, and open the curtain to let the sunlight in. This will chase away any of the Hotel Ghost who may have followed you into the room.

5. Arrange Your Shoes Upside Down
Before you go to bed, arrange your shoes so that one of them is upside down. This represent Yin & Yang and it's to protect you while you're asleep. This is especially effetive against the Chinese Hotel Ghost.

6. Do Not Leave Any Bed Vacant
If you're staying alone and they have given you a twin bed, do not sleep with the other bed vacant, try to put your things like luggage, underwear, used condom or whatever on the other bed before you sleep. You may also want to consider sending your piaomei to sleep at the other bed after you finish yamade her ;-)

7. Look at the "condition" of the Bible
Most hotel place the Bible inside a drawer. However, if upon entering, you see the Bible on the table, DON'T STAY IN THAT ROOM! It means the Hotel Ghosts are there!

If you see the Bible opened up on the table, LEAVE THAT ROOM IMMEDIATELY and request a change of room! It means the Hotel Ghosts is really creating trouble in that room!!!!!!!

8. Check All Corners of the Room for Dust
Upon entering the room, always check all corners of the room for dust. If the corners are very clean and totally free of dust it means the Hotel Ghosts are staying there because corners are hard to reach, and shouldn't be very clean.

Lin Peh hope you find the above guide useful. If so, please print out a copy and always carry it with you for your safe yamade activities :-)

Tech Tags: ghost hotel humor humour funny

 Leena condemn:

Wow u must be naik pangkat this month of July, now jadi how to avoid ghosts consultant pula?

I bet all those pui muis will get free consultation ;)

 Wingz condemn:

wuah this is like the ultimate ghostbuster guide man!!

 Anonymous condemn:

I vouch for the first one. Work late one time and checkin to hotel at 5am. Receptionist said no room but relented and gave me one. Someone shook my shoulder and woke me up while I was sleeping. Lalalalala...

 inevitable condemn:

One question - Should I sleep with light on or off while in the hotel room?

 Anonymous condemn:

Fuiyoh...I learned something here.!!

 King's wife condemn:

You have been going a lot of ghost research recently. Tiba-tiba so many updates...I didnt realise I missed so many posts.

 Anonymous condemn:

This guide is the real thing man!

Last year in Bangkok, I got a room where the whole night I could hear the bathroom faucet turned on/off and footsteps walking in and out but my husband insisted there was nothing!

Next day, I insist on room change but the hotel recep say no more room. When I went up to the room the same evening, the blardy bathroom was flooding from a leaking ceiling!! Imagine our shock and also the shock of the hotel manager!

So they had no choice but to give us the room opposite which is very big and spacious. (We thought to ourselves then, these ppl so bad to lie to us got no spare room earlier.)

THAT NIGHT, as I got ready for bed, I felt a chill right to my bone and started shaking. I told hubby to switch off the air-con but hubby ask why because it was not cold at all. He didn't believe me until he started to hold me close and could feel me shaking with cold. He was also shocked. We didn't know what to do because we didn't want to ask for another room change.

In the end, we decided to open up ALL the windows and curtains, switch on some lights and sleep together huddled in ONE twin bed.

This is a true story. I really believe in hotel ghosts because this is not the first time I encounter it, but this is the scariest one!

 Sasha Tan condemn:

Lin Peh, u forgot-Dun off the Toilet lights. Cos they stay quite if the light is on. Unless u kena hantu toilet la..
And also the aunties always say to the small kids, "dun walk sticking to the wall" cos the kwai fly along the wall wan..

 Anonymous condemn:

yup, trust Lin Peh the humsup kuai for accuracy in reporting these kind of things...cos he's an expert liao ma! Bet you can even tell which hotel is the 'cleanest' in town...LOL!

 CrazyGrr| condemn:

damn u lah!! now i stay hotel oso scared ledi..

 ah nel condemn:

u go n try it out mia ka?


for those dont believe on those 'thing' gua ada petua...
take a belacan go beach or in the jungle n burn it...
TRY AT UR OWN RISK OHHH...

 Cocka Doodle condemn:

I'm staying at the Crowne Plaza right now. Will print this post and make flyers to be distributed to all guests. LOL!!!

 Unknown condemn:

Read that info before quite some time. But it's true if u never follow it sure something happend. 2 years back when I was in Fraser's Hill... i forgot to knock the door b4 enter and oso forgot to arrange my shoe 1 up side down. The 'thing' came kacau me whole nite.

Extra tips: Switch on the toilet light all the time or leave the TV on.

 Anonymous condemn:

eh kenny..fraser's hill got a lot of these kinda stories one..how i know?,..i worked there b4 ma...but thank god..never realli had an encounter the 'them' la..

 ZMM condemn:

this guide good for yourself la.. always yamade with piaomei in Jln Alor Rumah Tumpangan Shiong Chong.

 Unknown condemn:

Eve: ur 'sin wan gou' mah... so cannot met 'them'. I was sick that time... normally the 'thing' will attack u when u r weak.

 rainbow angeles condemn:

yerrrr... sei loh... nxt mth i'm gonna stay in a bangcock hotel alone... how la like dat?!

 me condemn:

wahhhhhhhh! mummyyyyy! i soooo scared!

 Anonymous condemn:

Still don't get what you mean by the bible thing. You mean ghost also know how to read bible?

 Mockingbird condemn:

Thanks for the very useful guide. I wonder if a hum sup lou would mind bumping into a hum sup guai ;p

 Lin Peh condemn:

LP:
Can become Saikong liddat ? LOL!

Wingz:
Maybe next time can compile summore and make it into ensaiklopidia !

gbyeow:
U forgotten the piaomei u order?

Inevitable:
One answer - on light if you plan to see the face of the hantu !

AceOne:
Cum back more often, more things to learn!

King's wife:
U see Lin Peh no up ? never expect Lin Peh to post so manies ?

Anonymous:
BangCock ghost ! Wa Sai !!!!!!!

Sasha:
Stick to the wall ghost ? CHI-PEK KUAI ? LOL!

Pek Imm:
Cleanest is the Chow Kit road wan ah ? LOL!

CrazyGrr|:
Want Cocka go stay with you ? LOL!

ah nel:
Wai Sai ! Eat full nothing to do meh ?

Cocka Doodle:
For you no need la cause ghost see you ghost run ! ;-)

Kenny Ng:
If leave TV on and the channel keep switching automatically, HOW ?

eve:
You work Frasier Hill ? Farmer ah ? LOL!

Zara's Mama:
Make sure you print a copy and teach your Zara to read it out loud as well. LOL!

angel:
Ask Cocka go bangcock with you la !

me:
Lin Peh also sked....how ? ;-)

Hijackqueen:
That means the Ghost damn powderful wan ! Bible also not sked wan !

Mickell:

Onli if the hum sup guai is a female wan ! ;-)

 Unknown condemn:

lol... maybe u ter-press ur remote control la... i scare not switching channels... but got long hair lady climb out fr TV... wakakaka. Anyway... my friend's house TV on automatic b4 even the power chord was not attached into the power plug... scary!!!

 me condemn:

also scared ah? suggestion: wear garlic necklace, spray virgin urine mix with dog's blood perfume, tear pages from bible to make clothes and underwear, wear cross-shaped jewelleries, tatoo cross shape on every part of your body, carry stake and black 'lor mai', 'fu' and some holy water....can or not?

 flaminglambo condemn:

^HAHAHAHAHA!

Damn man! I'm going interstate tonight and crashing in a hotel. Maybe it's a sign that I read this.

 bethamy condemn:

wow!!! thank you for your guide..seriously.

 wombie condemn:

me: that sounds like the ultimate ghostbuster package!!

 pisang goreng 115,NF condemn:

i think show the ghost american express PLATIUM charge card, and that ghost will leave you alone....

 Dawn condemn:

eh i never knew bout the bible being open thing...why ar? i tot bibles are used to ward off evil spirits??

 Anonymous condemn:

ok..got one more.

when u open the door..don't step in yet. Wait and see if you see anything hopping towards you.

yes...wait for fleas. Apparently u can see them hopping towards you, because they are attracted to body heat. Quick quick change room

MUA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAH!!!

I'm sure u weren't expecting that! but it's true!