Tok 3 Tok 4

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Business Plan for MSC


This morning when toking cock at kopi shop, Or Kao (black dog) suddenly show up with Ah Huat. This Or Kao friend of Lin Peh usually do not join us for kopi tok in morning because he no wake up in morning one. So, Lin Peh was surprise to see him. Anyway, during our conversation, Or Kao told us that his company want to apply for MSC status because many benefits but he cannot find anyone good to write the business plan for him. Since Ah Huat know Lin Peh got write story on blog, Ah Huat recommended that Or Kao should take Lin Peh in as his consultant and get Lin Peh to write all those bullshit business plan especially for gaoment wan. After some serious thinking, Lin Peh decided to give it a try since Lin Peh also got nothing to do. Lin Peh started by doing many researches and do many copy/paste to make sure that the business plan is a sure hit one. Since many people who read the blog here are very the techno or got study the Engrish veli deep one, Lin Peh decided to post the draft business plan here for comment and condemn before submiting it to MDC. By the way, I need to also thank Uncle Ho, whoever he is, for giving many ideas to Lin Peh on this proposal.

Here is the proposal:

BACKGROUND OF COMPANY

Or Gao Holdings Sdn Bhd is currently the largest manufacturer, distributor and retailer of quality original "copy" of VCDs, DVDs, Audio CDs, CD-ROMS in Malaysia.

From our humble beginnings in Petaling Street in 2003, OGH is currently operating more than 68,000 outlets in the Klang Valley, Penang, Ipoh & Johor Baru. We have managed to secure at least 2 stalls at the kaki lima outside every 7-11 shop, 3 stalls outside every coffee shop and 20 stalls at every pasar malam. We're expanding into every housing and commercial areas, making us the biggest outdoor retailing company in the world with over 16 million discs sold daily. We are also in the process of applying for an IPO (Initial Public Offering) for listing at Bursa Malaysia.

BUSINESS MODEL

RETAIL DIVISION

The buiness model of the Retail Division of OGH is based on the Franchise Model. We are the largest Franchisor in the country. We offer exciting and profitable franchising opportunities for school leavers, retrenched workers, unemployed individuals and ex-convicts. There are 2 types of Franchise packages available for our Franchisee depends on their budget:

Basic Franchisee

- Set-up cost is a RM500, including an inventory of 150 titles, portable iron stands, plywood and yellow table cloth.

- The Basic Franchisee will be protected by us against local gangsters, unsatisfied customers, enforcement officers and post bail if required.

- In the event of "operasi", all confiscated items are our responsibilty and will be returned to the franchisee within 2 working days.

- All the franchisee will be rotated with other franchisee from nearby areas to reduce the rate of return or exchange for defective copies.

Premium Franchisee

- Set-up cost is RM2,500. In addition to all the benefits enjoyed by the Basic Franchisee, the Premium Franchisee are alo given the following benifits:

- RED table cloth instead of YELLOW table cloth.

- Free hair colouring on a monthly basis.

- A more extensive inventory of 250 titles which includes more latest porno mainly from USA and Japan.

- A condemned 25-year-old Nissan C20 will be provided as a mobile store.

- A Motorola GP300 Walkie Talkies with free access to our wireless LAWS(TM)(Local Authority Warning System) network, a networking system that enable our franchisee to connect to our well trained informers in every enforcement agencies, and thus eliminate the 'surprise element'.

MOVIE PRODUCTION DIVISION:

Our movie production divison was established in response to the gaoment call to make the country a major producer of movies we can be proud of. The graduates of our School of Cinematography has successfully released the following movies which have received overwhelming response from the Malaysian Public:

1. MAS stewardess
2. Pramugara yang terlampau
3. Datin yang terlampau
4. Skandal tasik Shah Alam

OUR MISSION STATEMENT

- To provide Malaysian youths with employment and a stable source of income.

- To help promote Malaysia as the top regional technology and multimedia hub in the true spirit of 'Malaysia Boleh'.

- To make available in Malaysia the latest blockbuster 30 days before its international release.

- To fight American hegemony by reducing the profits of Hollywood studios and Bill Gates.

CONCLUSION

With all the achievements and track record showed above, we are sure that OGH Sdn Bhd has made the country very proud and an MSC status should be awarded.

32 Condeminations:

Blogger Nine3 Nine 3 condemn:

haha..that is damn diew lian sing FUNNY.
Buggar u actually do lots of proposal.
Can see

Blogger sic6sense condemn:

They should award the company MSC status. Its not paying tax anyway.

Blogger Cocka Doodle condemn:

LinPeh, waa...I want to invest in OGH leh. What's the ROI? Hmmm...The risk assessment seems ok as the authorities are ever-ready to be 'kau-tim'.What's the short, mid and long term business plans of OGH?

Well, as long as the effing 'Holier than Thou' censor board is still deciding what i should and should not see, you bet I will continue to support these pirates.

Blogger JoMel condemn:

Later, can go for ISO9001 certification also hor? When the time comes, I will do freelance internal audit for OGH S/B k? Eh, that co. name rings very well leh. You better register it fast with the ROC before someone steals the name.

Blogger JoMel condemn:

oh ya, can go listing also. Make sure I get the pink form hor?

Blogger King's wife condemn:

sounds good wor....like very experienced.
Is that your real job ah?

Anonymous yumsup condemn:

Linpeh, yumsup is impressed with your originality & creativity .. yumsup like u veri much wor. Linpeh not only hamsap but very clever oso. Can recruit me as one of ur marketing ppl kah?

Blogger Siao Cha Bor condemn:

whoa, u terrer

how much is your consultation fee?

i need a proposal done too

Blogger Tiuniasing condemn:

A good one. I'm writing some scripts for your next production, titles are as below:-

1. MAS retired-steward/stewardess (starring Linpeh with all the silais here)
2. Ah Pek and Linpeh yang terlampau (for PLU, starring Ah Pek and Linpeh)
3. Datuk yang terlampau
4. Skandal Tok 3 Tok 4

Blogger sengkor condemn:

linpeh, i no money to invest can go super basic option ah? like sell from table to table in the kopitiam..?

Blogger mr frust condemn:

Sound like a good franchise system. Paying the premium option, do I get protection from white and black group? And I do get the imported china gal to service every month ah?

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

Nine3 Nine4:
You wrong la. Lin Peh now only learning how to write.

sic6sense:
All these while, OGH pay tax via the alternative mode i.e. Genting, Magnum, Toto.

Cocka Doodle:
Please educate Lin Peh on what is ROI before Lin Peh can answer la, Anyway, thanks for all the support..we may be coming out with Loyal Customer Program soon.

JoMel:
ISO9001 only when we can cut down the rejection rate to below 2%. Currently rejection rate still high la. Almost 20%.

No problem. Whenever yoo decided want to become freelance internal audit for OGH S/B Lin Peh can recomend.

You want pink form you have to belanja Lin Peh yum cha first la.

King's wife:
You are half correct about my new job. Writing proposal (NO). Making yamade movie (YES YES YES!!) LOL!

yumsup:
You will more impress with Lin Peh originality & creativity if you Yamade with Lin Peh ! ;-)

You got 4 months bonus wan Lin Peh where got qualify to recruit you wor ?

Siao Cha Bor:
Lin Peh do it FOC wan la. Where got consultation fee?

If you really can trust Lin Peh type of writing. Lin Peh also do one FOC proposal for you. It will start like this ...(Lin Peh kneel down, take out rose...and proposeeeee....) LOL !

Tiuniasing:
Wah. You reallu live up to your name. You sure Lin Peh can star in those movie ah ?

seng kor:
Good idea ! Can cansider.

mr frust:
Of course you get protection from white and black group but soli la..imported china gal to service every month is not from OGH. That one is from OKT (Or Kui Tao) ;-)

Blogger Tiuniasing condemn:

you kenot star no worry, tiuniasing can teach, or ask ah pek to demo also can.

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

Tiuniasing:
On second tot, maybe Lin Peh star but the below belt part la cause Lin Peh face very condemn. So, when show face time...show yours but when close up yamade shot, Lin Peh Lan Jiao. Like dat can ah ?

Blogger Samm condemn:

Wahhh, u sure write good proposal, man. Me wanna borrow 25million from ANY bank. Can do one up for me.

And ur friend's company, i also want to invest ah, when i successfully get my 25million.

Thank you in advance. *kiss-kiss*

Anonymous yumsup condemn:

Yumsup no talk money with Linpeh .. we talk about compatibility one!

Blogger Zara's Mama condemn:

I believe you must be either Oh Gao's shareholder, or Oh Gao's retailer.

Got discount ah if I want to buy??

Sure can get MSC status one.

Blogger 5xmom ~chanlilian.net~ condemn:

Want to hire ex-sexyturkey anot? This silai wants to work with Or Gao. Seriously, I admire the time you take to write such detailed blog post. Respect!

Blogger Cocka Doodle condemn:

I got scout 1 'piao mei' to co-star with linpeh from macau. Check my updated blog to see whether qualified or not? LOL
Then you can borrow the toys I bought for the silais to spice up the movie.

Tiuniasing...this kind of movie where got script wan...? Only got ooohhhs...ahhhss and cumminggg....

Blogger Tiuniasing condemn:

linpeh,
my face is also very the condemm. I think we can ask if anyone is willing to offer his face voluntarily. I think if linpeh requests it, no one can refuse it.

Cocka Doodle,
that's what I called script dude! OGH is heading to ISO, so they must maintain the quality of ooohhhs...ahhhss and cumminggg.... also. We kenot use the same sound too many times. We can use something like... yamade... yamade... come on baby, harder... harder...!!

Blogger Helen condemn:

Damn good business proposal..... wor... I bought lottery already but not yet check. If win already, I definitely want to invest....

I sure hope it'll be with international cast..... Spielberg got War of the WOrlds, your friend's company also can do War of the WOrlds...

Jap chicks vs Malaysian cocks, Korean cocks vs malaysian chicks, Thailand chicks vs US bush.....

Do let me know if you need storyline... I got alot!! lol Malaysia Boleh.

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

Samm:
25million enoug meh ? Since you *kiss-kiss* Lin Peh, Lin Peh siok liao. So, provide detail and Lin Peh will write the proposal for FREE!

yumsup:
Lin Peh like when you said yumsap said compatibility. That means no money face, can work for free la ? LOL!

Zara's Mama
For you...no discount lah. Lin Peh give FREE! what title you want ?

5xmom:
You Respect Lin Peh, Lin Peh like !

Cocka Doodle:
Your 'piao mei' sit on lap of Santa Klaus wan ah ? It's cartoon la ! You think Lin Peh so blur canot differentiate between real and cartoon meh ? LOL !

Tiuniasing
You do have a point about the recycling of same sound effect. Actually, if keep repeat and repeat like dat...can hypnotise a person wan la. Watch also fall asleep. Very glad you really tiuniasing until detail like dis also can think of. Will nominate you for "Best sound effect director" in the upcoming OSKAR ! ;-)

Helen
Screw you la. If strike lottery don't invest lor ! If strike, BUY DOUBLE !

No la. We don't make "war" one. We make LOVE ! LOL ! But your idea of "Globalisation" storyline sure make Lin Peh stim ! Not only "Malaysia Boleh", "Helen Lagi Boleh" !

To all:
Wan Shui Wan Shui Wan Wan Shui !

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

Lil Patchee:
You said "Me not pakcik!! *bish* Just you wait.. ;)"

OIC. You are little pakcik. Soli la. forgot the little ;-)

Blogger dizzyguy73 condemn:

waoh lan ehhhh! keng chao. I want to join too.

Anonymous smashpOp condemn:

wah sai.. such a long post.. read also took 5 minutes.. but its all woth reading.. ehhe

Blogger Lin Peh condemn:

dizzyguy73:
You want join ah ? Please call 1-800-Or-Gao and tell them which pacakge you want ;-)

smashpOp:
Thanks for your support ;-)

Blogger LP condemn:

Pretty soon, I think TYL will ask you to write one proposal for them too.

p/s: TYL = Tai Yi Loong

Anonymous smashpOp condemn:

ahahha tai yi long... ya maybe also..

Anonymous yumsup condemn:

Yumsup no money face but got "yamsap" face. Eventho my bonus 4-mth, linpeh can pay in other way mah! No kira one, as long as yumsup likes linpeh!

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Anonymous moo_t condemn:

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